If i come over, it means nothing
"it" just moved
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
