I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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