Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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