hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My liver just had a heart attack.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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