Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
