Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
