somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
