i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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