the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
