just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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