grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
