sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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