He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
as a side note pls kill me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
