so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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