Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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