Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
