You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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