Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
