He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
