Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
