David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
