Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
