As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he was CRYING into my vagina
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
