Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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