I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
