i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
what day is it and did you see me today?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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