i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
