College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
