Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
