all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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