Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
