yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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