I could make wine with my vomit
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
