Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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