There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
