so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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