We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I want a musical about memes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
