so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
