come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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