If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
