ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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