Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
