dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
