Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
