Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
