Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
