I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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