Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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