how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
