Pants 0. Shit 1.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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