The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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